


My Jow and Sorrow

by NaraGal95



Category: Legacy of Kain, Soul Reaver - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25154128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraGal95/pseuds/NaraGal95
Summary: Originally posted on Fanfiction.Net.This story offers the Legacy of Kain series a different POV where a being of divinity falls in love with Raziel from the moment her eyes laid on him. She tells her story as he goes through his journey; she enduring loneliness, pain and suffering as she strives to be with him but always failing.Crappy summary from Fanfic.net... couldn't think of anything better present day. Raziel X OC (Serona).
Relationships: Raziel (Legacy of Kain)/Original Female Character(s)





	My Jow and Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Just copied straight from Fanficiton.Net so please excuse any typos/errors/grammatical issues. I didn't read over it.
> 
> Most of this story takes place in Serona's (my OC's) point of view. I state where her POV begins. If after a page break it doesn't state it, it's just 3rd person.
> 
> Originally posted on Fanfic.net as 2 chapters, for the same of my own convenience it's one chapter here but for reminiscing I put where the 2nd chapter would have started.
> 
> Good? Good.

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**Serona POV**

In the beginning, when the world was still forming, there was no life at all. It was through a series of elemental collisions in which the first beings of life became to be. In a world that had no life on it, my brother and I came into existence.

We are twins, he and I, though very much different from one another in both appearance and personality. While he, a monstrous creature with a dark heart, and I, a pure spirit (and by meaning spirit, I mean an orb of pure white energy with tails of energy trailing after me whenever I moved) with a compassionate nature, we are two sides of a coin. He was born first and I, while I still tried to constitute my being, he had already taken root into the land that would be later called as Nosgoth, and I, being too kind for my own right let him have a land that he would eventually corrupt. I could have moved on to a different land and claimed it as my own as he did, but I was bound to him as a twin usually is, and I did not want to part with him.

Because of our unique beginning my brother and I had special abilities that no other could have. While he controlled Life, Death and his Wheel of Fate, I could create Life, harbor Death and Change nature. I managed the souls that he casts into his Wheel, for he is the hub. It was not much the life I wanted but it was all that was there.

Even when life started to form and advance into different races, species and such, I could find nothing to keep me entertained. I had begun to copy the forms of creatures in the Material Realm, animals mostly, searching for the one form that I would be happy to take root in. For millennia I stood by and did nothing, for my original jobs in Life and Death was taken away from me by my brother. I had nothing left to do but to be the Change that always took place. As my brother became known as a God to many cultures, vampires and humans even, I in association began calling myself as a Goddess, though my brother who had so apply renamed himself as The Elder God, thought that my being a Goddess was far none and inconceivable since to become a deity one must have followers, and no one but my brother knew of my existence, and he would never give me his allegiance, for I gave mine to him since our birth.

It was then, by some miraculous sight, that I had witnessed the birth of a powerful spirit with a soul that promised to be ever just as powerful and great. It was a human boy, the name was Raziel, and I watched from the Spectral Realm with a feeling of unique happiness and love. I was still in spirit form, not yet finding that body that would satisfy my needs, but at that moment I knew what it was I had to take form of; a human. My initial plan was to create my own human body, make it perfect, and woo the heart of this Raziel and live out my life with him for however long he lives, unless I could bring him down into the Spectral Realm where he could live forever. I was full of joy at the thought of being in love; it gave me purpose once more in my immortal life.

But my brother already had plans for him. Raziel was tossed into my brother's Wheel the moment he was born and I had lost him. But I refused to let this fight go without a battle. Over the years I toiled endlessly, watching Raziel grow from a babe, to a boy, to a man before my eyes, every moment I loved him more than the last.

When I had finally constructed the perfect body, I was over the moon. I created my human body to be Raziel's other half. While he was muscular and strong, I was small and weak; while he had rounded curves (due to his muscle) I had sharp curves; his dark black hair to my light blonde hair; his favorite color as my eyes: green; tanned skin to his white skin; everything opposite and yet I knew in my mind that this would work to attract him. I also created my own clothing, working towards using his male needs; I dressed in a sleeveless floor length cape with strings of cloth that crossed one another before my chest, covering my breasts but only barely. As a bottom I wore a skirt with a ruffled pattern which was shorter in the front than in the back and walked around barefoot to appeal to men's wild nature.

But I had come too late. By the time I went to the Material Realm I saw that Raziel had become a Sarafan warrior and I knew that they hardly looked at women, focusing their sole attention onto the creatures they hunted, vampires. I fell into anguish, rushing back into the Spectral Realm and crying pitifully to my brother, my human form tossed onto the ground in a crying heap, a stone my only support as I laid my crying head upon it. All the while my brother said words of sympathy and yet, I felt to better.

I choose to stay in my human form that I had worked so hard to create, I still watched Raziel from where the Spectral Realm but busied myself by creating a place to call my own. For all this time I had just roamed the Spectral Realm freely but now, now that my brother had grown too large and too powerful for my calm nature, I had to create a retreat only I can access. I created a door that required my blood to open, and since I was human I had blood to offer and since my own brother's blood was significantly different than mine, there was no way he could open the door. This door was built behind a rock wall that had to be opened by my powers of Change for if it were to be destroyed, no one would ever be able to go into my retreat. I was proud of myself, and built my own special area to mimic Nosgoth with plentiful life and colors. I had even created my own species of large deer which grew to be the size of a horse to keep me company.

After my retreat's creation, brother became more distant for at the same time he worked hard on his Wheel and events that were occurring in Nosgoth. Then a horror had happened. After Raziel and his Sarafan brethren followed a 'Demon,' who I felt a strange familiarity with, to kill Janos Audron, that same demon returned, killing off the brethren before killing Raziel in search for the Heart of Darkness. My own heart broke as I saw Raziel die but my brother laughed; it was a joke to him and I did not, could not understand so I ran to my retreat and stayed in there in spirit form in constant mourning.

My brother did try at first to bring me out of this sadness, but I simply would not move. He gave up and with it I fell into an abyss of loneliness and self-exile from the world. Let my brother have it since it was something he so desired I thought. The only thing that had ever brought me any true happiness was killed, gone forever.

But then I realized, some three centuries later that, all spirits are reborn. Perhaps not the soul since it is the _life_ that spirit took on, but the _spirit_ would return. I began to feel another unique emotion, hope. I knew that it took ages for a soul to fully leave the body thus allowing the spirit to leave as well and be reborn. I had prophesized that since his soul was so powerful that it would have taken him at least seven hundred or so years for the soul to leave, time I had to spare. I had changed back into human form, fearing that I would have forgotten the form's characteristics over the years but thankfully I did not. But then, somewhere along those seven hundred years Kain, a vampire, raised Raziel as his first born son.

Though as glad as I admit to see Raziel with the same soul alive once more, I was suspicious of this Raziel, of the event. I began getting close to my brother once more, for he seemed to know just exactly what was going on. As the other five were risen I felt my suspicious grow as my brother continued on restlessly, like he was _waiting_ for something. Though I kept my suspicions, I watched Raziel just as before. He seemed oblivious of his former self, a thing I was sure that Kain had done on purpose. Raziel and his vampire brothers raised their own children and created an army for Kain to command, Raziel as his second-in-command. I had grown to like vampire Raziel more, he seemed more like himself than he had as a Sarafan warrior. But I could not go to him. I could not have gone as a human, I would be killed. I could have changed myself into a female vampire, but what good would that do me? Vampires were violent, more violent than the humans even, and I would not be able to stand it. My human body alone gave me nightmares of violent deeds and actions that shook me to my very core.

Then came his evolution some one thousand years later. He looked positively amazing with his wings. He looked beautiful and he was happy that he had the honor to surpass his master, he never once thinking to overthrow his king. He showed Kain, hoping to be showered with his master's affection and congratulations but was except thrown into the Abyss. I had felt pain when I witnessed the pain he would go through for the next five hundred years when finally, he would die and his body and soul would arrive in the Spectral Realm where I would rush to his side and tentatively touch him for the first time.

His body was cold, as all dead bodies are. His skin burned off, leaving him in a deformed vampiric state, his lower jaw and part of his neck, no more. His body was skeletal in his torso with muscle around his arms and legs. And his wings, his once beautiful wings, broken, reduced to nothing more than torn fabric like material on his back. I had felt sorry for him, my pain only increasing as I looked at him close hand. I did not want to leave him like this, so I used my ability to _create_ Life and instead placed Life back into him with gentle touches onto his body. It would take a while, but I would wait at his side, and help him go through a confusion I was sure he would have.

My brother worked his way into the chamber then, the ground rumbling as his large tentacles grasped and pulled, surrounding us in it. "Sister." His voice rumbled. "You are no longer required in this chamber—Leave."

"Required?" I asked him, my body wanting to stand and follow my brother's command but my heart wanting to stay with Raziel.

"You my dear sister was always meant to resurrect Raziel long before his time, at this exact moment. Now that you have, you are no longer needed in my plans."

I shook my head, I feeling used. "No. I will not leave him!"

"Leave, Serona." He commanded once more as he called me by my name. When I silently refused his tentacle reached out and grasped me. I struggled to free myself but I was far too weak and he casted me out and far away from that chamber. The next time I would see Raziel, he would be out as my brother's wraith, doing his bidding, following the course my brother set for him in his Wheel of Fate, and I was forced to stay out of everything that followed but with a cost. I had heard Raziel talk about his new form which he hated. I had given him life to a form he despised and I felt heartbroken for doing such a horrible deed to him. I watched him once more in regret.

I watched Raziel as he became many a thing, from a weakened wraith to a strong wraith in both the Spectral and Material Realms. He along with the Soul Reaver created chaos and yet brought peace all at once. I stayed close to my brother as to be as close as I could be to Raziel, the one I had damned in an overflow of my emotions. I remained in the shadows of the Spectral Realms, watching with my brother as Raziel unwillingly did his bidding thinking that it was free will that he was executing. As Raziel learned about his former self through his time traveling and ultimately got closer to his destiny, a destiny I was discovering along with him, I could not help but worry for him, feel sorry for him. My life became unbearable almost, watching him go through all this inner turmoil.

And then came the beginning of the end.

Raziel was cut down by a possessed Janos Audron and showed up in the Spectral Realm, weakened severely. I wanted to rush out to him and protect him from the destiny I had long ago made to terms with the moment he discovered that the sword contained a piece of his soul. But I could not. Not long after Kain, who was thought to be dead, dispatched Moebius, bringing his soul to the Spectral Realm where Raziel once again took his life, revealing to Moebius the true form of his god before devouring his soul. I felt the end drawing nearer and I felt my heart beat increase as my brother continued to torment Raziel.

"This is where the journey ends." My brother said ominously.

"You haven't got the means to kill either one of us." Raziel tried in vain to make a stand for himself and for his old master Kain.

"Ah, but you can be stopped!" The earth began to rumble as my brother slammed down a tentacle in the distance, causing Raziel to almost lose his balance and I to lose mine. "And you will come to understand how oblivion can be a mercy. You and Kain will spend an eternity buried here together—praying for the merciful release of a death that will never come." The earth rumbled again and this time Raziel lost his balance as I, who was in the action of standing myself back up again, once again fell to my knees. As Raziel reclaimed his balance as well as I, he stared at the murals depicting the destiny he and Kain were to fulfill. "Despair Raziel—there is _no_ escape."

But there was one escape, one that I was sure at that moment that Raziel knew as well. He re-inhabited the body of Moebius and returned back to the Material Realm, using his body as a puppet before being impaled by Kain, bringing the destiny to the right path, but I felt my heart break once more, and this time, there would be no fixing it. As Raziel spoke his speech I fell to my knees and began to cry and as I cried Kain came into the Spectral Realm to see his true enemy. A major fight broke out between Kain and my brother, and as I watched through my tears I felt nothing towards my brother. No concern for his impending loss, I wanted him to lose, I wanted some sort of vengeance for what he had done to Raziel.

Kain had won the battle of course, with the help of the completed Soul Reaver, my dear Raziel. I left the chamber before it caved in on both me and my brother. I could faintly hear Kain respond to my brother's threats. "In the meantime, it's best you… Burrow deep."

I left my brother's side, my allegiance to him gone. After all this time I was my own for the first time. I came to my retreat, the walls echoing the sounds of the chamber as well as my brother's pathetic calls to me, asking for my help. I ignored them; my heart was broken too much to be of any use to him, not that I wanted to assist him at all. I closed the door behind me, engaging the lock and wandering to the middle of the field where I fell once again onto the ground, tears flooding out of me once more. I lay there, my face turned onto the soil, grasses and flowers I had created. I was so out of my element and did not have any control over my emotions that my powers went their own course and created something solid, rounded, beneath me.

When I opened my mouth I released a gasp and backed away a foot or two. I had created an exact replica of Raziel's former body, his wraith body. I could not believe that I had done such a thing. His soul was gone and there would be—

Then I realized. Only his _soul_ was gone. His spirit was still alive for his soul was the only part of him that was absorbed into the sword. I began to feel hopeful and soon my hope became joy as I saw a spirit, similar to my true form, enter the body and as I saw this I realized that his spirit would have still been in the Spectral Realm and it would be attracted to the most familiar object available and at that moment the body I had created is in fact truly familiar. I do not know what came over me then but I moved back to his side and placed a hand on his chest gently before speaking his name out loud. "Raziel…"

His eyes flashed open and I could not help but to repeat his wonderful, beautiful name once more. "Raziel…"

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**(ORIGINALLY CHAPTER 2:)**

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**Serona POV**

"Raziel…" His eyes squinted faintly and I wondered if the spirit remembered the soul, simply put, I wondered if he even remembers who he is. It would all be answered soon enough…

"How do you know me?" He asked and I was pleased that he did in fact remember who he is, or was, or still is. I had no clue. All I knew was that this was the first time in my long infatuation with Raziel that he had spoken to me, and I in turn would speak to him.

"I know you quite well Raziel." I spoke calmly and softly as to keep my true emotions in control.

"No, that was not what I asked." He said as he sat up and I moved away if just barely from nervousness. "I asked _how_ you knew me."

"Oh." I sounded stupidly. I was an immortal, and in my minds eye a Goddess, and immortal Goddesses to not mutter 'oh'. "I know you as everything Raziel; human, vampire, wraith, soul and spirit." His eyes squinted again, he obviously not believing me and I took no offense to that. I would not believe me either. My mind worked quickly, trying to compute a sentence that would ease his doubts. Only one came to mind. "I am immortal Raziel, just like you are. I am a… Goddess." I hesitated at the word, since, according to my brother, was not one and it was still difficult for me to work my way around his words and commands. "My name is…" I hesitated again. My name, Serona, was the name I gave myself when I was born, when I pledged my allegiance to my brother, who at the time had named himself Eder, and I was no longer that being. I fashioned a new name for myself, one that I felt was more like the being I am today. "Azuel, my name is Azuel." The name sounded closely familiar to Raziel's name and I mentally smiled at the thought and my creativity.

His eyes, though, only narrowed more. "Quite the hesitation there, Azuel—perhaps you are not who you say you are."

"Oh no I am!" I sounded quickly, surprising us both. "I just…" I sighed and looked away from him, feeling quite ashamed of what I was about to say. "I recently have gained my freedom, and I am having difficulty gaining my own ground after eons of being held captive by my own brother… You know him as the Elder God."

He moved back in obvious shock and glanced over me. As I felt his eyes on my human being I felt myself blush, for I had created this body to attract him, to claim him as mine, and I felt that if he stared for a certain amount of time that he could see the intent in my curves and features. Thankfully his eyes went up to meet mine after only a few seconds. "How could that malicious parasite be in fact your brother?"

"We were born at the same time." I began simply. "We are twins, he and I. I do not know how he turned out like that since he is supposed to be like me, a spirit of pure energy. I prophesized that perhaps he chose that form, much like I chose this one." I left out the reason for why I chose to become a human (theoretically speaking) for purposes all my own.

"A spirit?" Raziel asked, his head cocking slightly to the side, an action I could not help but to smile at since I found it so thrillingly adorable.

"My true form is a ball of pure white energy Raziel." I felt another question about to come ( _Why did you choose to be human?_ ) and before he could speak I changed the subject, and quite harshly at that. "I must apologize to you, though, Raziel. I have done you wrong… Twice."

"How so?"

I breathed in deeply, my heart thumping, no _pounding_ , in my chest. "I-When you were tossed into the Abyss and you ended up in the Spectral Realm, you were in fact dead. And it was I, not my brother, but I who resurrected you. He had used my abilities to bring you back and control you, perceiving to you that he was some divine life giver into you. He cannot resurrect other beings, that is my ability and he used my—It does not matter how he did it, it is in the past. And I must also apologize to you for bringing you back now. I did not give your spirit, you, the rest it needed since your last soul had endured so much—I assure you, it was purely accidental."

Raziel blinked at me since my apologizes came out quickly and rushed. I knew he could at the very least understood what I had said; I believe it was what the words revealed to him that had confused him. Instead he was not confused at all; he was piecing it all together in his mind. "I remember that I died—the Soul Reaver and I became one."

"Only your soul Raziel. Your spirit was freed with the death of your body and soul." I explained.

He nodded, understanding that there _is_ a difference between the soul and the spirit. "And it was you who resurrected me…"

"Again I apologize. I—"

"For what?"

His two words stopped my mind all together. 'For what'? What about all the pain and torment he went through as my brother's wraith? "But your journey as a wraith… Your appearance?"

"As you said—it is in the past."

He quoted me. I felt a rising giddiness flood into my body from where my stomach sat in my body. He quoted me. "I suppose. But as for this—"

"You stated it was accidental, and thus not your fault—unless you are speaking lies."

I felt disgusted. Not at the idea that he would think that I would lie, but at the fact of lying entirely. "Never! I would never; the thought alone makes me sick. You will find that the main difference between my brother and I is that he has no qualms, but I do, very much so."

He nodded at me again for he could clearly see that statement was true. He began to look around our surroundings then and as he looked around I glanced in the direction of the wood where I spotted my animals looking out from the safety of the tree line. I understood their behavior; they did not know Raziel and thus fear him, but I was sure that if Raziel stayed longer they would eventually feel comfortable with him, at the very least. That is… If he decided that he wanted to stay. If not that meant that I would have to kill him. My heart lurched at the thought of performing murder, especially onto Raziel. It was a pain that—

His voice interrupted me from my thoughts at that moment and I glanced back at him to see glowing white eyes stare into my green ones. "What is this place?"

"My retreat. I had created it many years ago to allow me a safe and secure place away from my brother. This is the only chamber in the whole Spectral Realm that he cannot access."

"Why haven't I heard of it?" He asked as he stood, his curiosity enticing him to explore my wonderful world that I had created for the both of us in mind. I know he could not see it, but just beyond the wood was a stone mansion in where I had envisioned the both of us staying in it together for eons.

"Brother must not have thought it important since you could not have gotten in either." I paused and thought for a moment. "In fact, I believe you still cannot come in. Since you were in pure spirit form your being just materialized through the walls but in your current state I doubt you would have entry, even with your powers." I paused again. "I doubt you even have your old powers. They were tied with your soul, which are in the Soul Reaver now with Kain." I nodded to myself, the statement feeling true in my heart. "You are just a spirit in a body now. Almost human, minus the form you are in."

"Does this occur often to you?" He asked. In his voice I could hear the laces of humor.

I looked up at him and was surprised to see his hand extended towards me as if to help me up. How long was that hand there, waiting for me to put mine in it? I execute the motion of placing my human hand in his vampiric one and he lifted me up. I supposed then that what he was referring to was my deep thinking process and becoming oblivious to my surroundings. "No. Not often." I answered and that was when I realized our hands were still touching. I pulled my hand out gently and slowly, as to not offend and embarrass myself. Before he could speak I changed the subject again, this time a bit more swiftly, though not by much. "But Raziel I must speak to you about some serious matters. Seeing as I brought you back to life once more, and this time I should say against nature, I must ask you; would you prefer to move on or remain here? It is up to you to decide, though if I may—I would like it if you stayed."

He looked at me, his eyes once again glancing over me and the same fear arose in my stomach. "Is that so?" He asked me and though he practically had no mouth I could see the smile in his voice. This Raziel was far more open than his previous self; most likely due to the absence of a soul since it is the soul that contains the spirit.

I opened my mouth to reply to him when the ground shook and I once again lost my balance for the third or perhaps fourth time for that day. This time was different for Raziel kept his ground and took me in his arms before I collapsed to the floor. I had no time to blush or have my heart race from the contact when my brother's thunderous voice came through the walls. "Sister… I seek your attention!" He sounded pathetic. The Soul Reaver injured him severely, as did the debris that fell upon him and he, too weak for his own good, needed me to help him heal. I could feel Raziel tense as he heard his ex-master's voice once more and I breathed in deeply as I straightened my back. I was going to stand up to my brother, not only for myself but for Raziel. This time Raziel was not his, he was mine.

I walked out of Raziel's arms, feeling him hesitate slightly as if he knew the whole story of my life and my relationship with my brother. I walked up to the locked door and spoke at it, knowing that my voice would pass through the rock and reach my brother. "Eder, I am no longer under you. You have no control over me."

"You impudent spirit." My brother said in aggression. "I am your elder, your master."

"You are _not_ my master, brother." I could feel the scorn in my voice, an emotion this human body brought upon and it made me nervous of my own self. "And I will not see to your needs anymore. You are on your own."

The ground rumbled again and this time I was prepared, holding my ground without moving. Behind me I heard Raziel near closer, as if he expected me to fall. Once again I had no time to feel any happy emotion as my brother continued. "Serona, you are fatuous being—do you really think that just because you are in your domain that I cannot sense the wronging you have done?" My muscles tensed as he continued. "I know what you have done Serona—I can feel his spirit in there with you. He does not belong to you." My brother was attacking my weaknesses, Raziel and my emotions. "You cannot keep him—he has, and will always be mine—abandon your ridiculous dreams of love, sister."

My anger rose and my hands turned to fists at my sides. "Never." I uttered to him and the ground rumbled again, his own anger rose for I had never once defied him as such. The only other time I had defied him was when I resurrected Raziel, but that was merely child's play to the resistance I currently am showing my brother.

"You have changed the path of history my dear sister—now the fate of every being is no longer seen. Your mishap will be the undoing of the Wheel of Fate." He warned me before he left shortly after, neither admitting defeat nor giving up. We would see more of my brother, to my dismay. Raziel behind me sounded out. "Serona?"

I sighed and turned quickly, my golden hair flying through the air as I whipped around. "My true name, but it is also the name of a being that could not fight for herself and allowed her brother to command her. Serona is no longer who I am." I walked up to him and looked into his eyes before smiling softly at him. "Did you decide wither or not you wanted to stay?"

Raziel looked at me, assessing me no doubt, but I could tell that he was still confused. "Eder, was that what you called him?" I nodded and was about to add that Eder was his true name but Raziel continued on. "He had mentioned your dreams of love…"

This was when all my previous emotions that I did not have the time for flooded back into my body. I stood nervously before him, though I tried my best to conceal it. "I suppose that I should tell you that… I-I have loved you since the day of your birth Raziel." He blinked slowly at me, his head tilting slightly as I professed my feelings to him. I turned around on my heals in an attempt to hide my blood red face from him, my hands played nervously together beneath my chest as I stared down at the ground, feeling ashamed that I—a self-proclaimed Goddess—was acting in such a manner. "I did not want this information to affect your decision to stay or leave. But since I am, I should also tell you that I created this body for you—to be your other half. I-I mean to tell you that you have free will Raziel, and I wish that you chose for you and not for me. I only want your happiness." I spoke quickly and in as little breaths as possible.

I heard him chuckle, _chuckle,_ behind me which caused me to turn around and look at him. "I had thought so Azuel." He called me by the name I had recently given myself and my heart soared. "It would seem that I being only a spirit in a body I can sense things more easily and I just knew that your heart is yearning for mine."I made a sound that I could only describe as a giggle. "I will stay here, with you Azuel. And I will stay by your side as your follower, your protector, and your heart."

The giggle came again and I began to feel faint. Turns out I did faint, right into his arms, and when I awoke we were laying in the grass, he sitting and my head in his lap, his eyes bearing down on my face. "Oh, Raziel…" I sighed out my hands reaching up to grasp the side of his face. It was awkward because the fact that he had now lower jaw but I had gotten around that feeling quickly. "My love…" He bent forward at the waist as much as he could, get our faces closer together.

I felt his emotions and could read his thoughts, not because of my divinity as I will now call it, but because he allowed me to. The moment was too powerful and at that moment we could have shared our whole lives within moments without even needing to speak. I could feel his happiness to finally settle down from a life of combat and to finally have the free will he desired. But he also felt extremely disheartened for he was an incomplete form, a broken form.

Without thought I had my power flow to my hands and he flinched slightly, my powers surprising me as I dragged my hands gently down from the top of his jaw down, creating a completed mouth. I was following the pattern his body had when he was a vampire, for his wraith for was just simply a vampire who had been damned to a slow and excruciating death. I sat up and turned in one motion as I worked quickly and quietly, filling in his throat and completing that as well. I worked down his body at first, giving him skin, new organs, and fashioning clothing for him (I had only created his pants, similar to the ones he wore as Kain's lieutenants); though I did not change his blue skin for in my own selfishness I wanted him to remain as much as a wraith as possible for I felt a closer connection to this form since it was I who had first brought it to life. He did not say a word as I worked, he merely watched as I went around to his wings. Placing my hands at the point where his wings meet his back, I first reconstructed the bones and went down the wings simultaneously. I gave him a moment to stretch out his partially re-formed wings to revel in that feeling he first felt when his wings came to him, before I fixed the membrane that made up the wings itself. Once I was done I stood and stepped back and watched as Raziel too stood and tested out his new form…

I was exhausted but stood strongly as Raziel marveled at his completed wraith form. He pulled down his scarf, making it scoop around his chest to reveal his newly formed mouth and a smile that graced its lips. "Simply spectacular Azuel. You truly are a Goddess of great power." I simply nodded and looked off into the distance, sensing something gone awry.

* * *

Kain wondered the land of Nosgoth, wondering, to be blunt, what to do next. He now has a completed Soul Reaver thanks in part to Raziel's sacrifice but what was he to do with it? And how can he and a sword fix all of the atrocities that have happened in Nosgoth's history? Kain was at a total loss and he was forced to fight with these creatures that had formed out of nowhere and began to attack him. He felt weird fighting with the Soul Reaver now, knowing quite well that Raziel's soul was entrapped in the sword.

" _I am, as before, your right hand. Your sword."_

Those words haunted Kain. Raziel: his most beloved vampire son, his second in command, his friend, and now, quite literally, his sword. If it was truly possible he would feel nauseous at the thought. He placed the Soul Reaver on his back after he had cut down his last enemy, the soul being devoured by the sword, by Raziel. All these thoughts were making Kain go insane so he shook them free from his skull and continued on. It would take a miracle for him to discover what he truly must do from here.

* * *

Serona pressed her lips against Raziel's, his claws tightening around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. She found herself in pure bliss, but yet oddly enough, she felt like there was something else she had to do, which was distracting her from her Raziel, from her dreams-coming-true. Raziel sensed this and pulled away, looking at his Goddess in her emerald green eyes. The two no longer needed to speak to each other to convey their thoughts. It had seemed that Fate had always destined these two beings to be together, the love Serona has for Raziel flooded into him more and more as he stays by her side longer and longer and the wraith found that he was falling in love, and fast. Silent words exchanged between the two, both of them uneasy at the idea that something has truly gone awry. Serona, who has never much cared for Eder's Wheel of Fate was becoming quickly uneasy about his words. Had she truly brought upon the downfall of the Wheel? Despite the unfairness of the Wheel, it still played a major part in the circle of life and death and if it collapsed…

Serona pulled away from Raziel in a near-trance like state and she turned her back to him as she thought. Raziel's destiny may be finally be over but not her brother's, not Kain's, not even her's. Her destiny began when she first fell in love with Raziel, throwing herself into this chain of events that would forever shape and mold Nosgoth. She was certain that if she had in fact never fallen in love with Raziel, she would have lived out her immortal existence with no destiny at all; she would have just existed. Raziel but a hand on her shoulder in comfort and confusion, he thought that she wanted him, as she does, and he thought that there could be nothing else that would displease her, except for her brother, but he could tell that this was much more than that parasitic false God. "Azuel?" He called her by her false name.

"Raziel..." She said softly, her mind working out the meaning of her life and her destiny, thinking of all the possibilities she could stand for in relation to that of her brother and Kain. Kain did need her help, he could not, and would not, be able to fix Nosgoth's past, present, and future without some sort of divine power, a power her brother would certainty not offer which left only she to provide it. What she needed to do was to truly become the Goddess she has made herself into… She does not _need_ Raziel to follow her, no; she only _wanted_ him beside her and praise her as she had praised him… She _needs_ Kain to follow her. Kain _needs_ to makes Serona his divine Goddess. "Raziel, I need to speak to Kain." She turned back around on her heels, Raziel's hand falling as the shoulder he grasped was whipped out from under his hand. "I need him to follow me."

"Kain? Follow someone else besides himself? Azuel… he would never subject himself to follow someone else's orders; he has proven that once before with his betrayal."

"He _needs_ a God Raziel. My brother _made_ him what he is, my brother even made _you_. No one and I do mean _no one_ will be freed from my brother's grasp until he is truly defeated. My brother caused all this." She swung her arms around, motioning to everything around her, the Material and Spectral Realms, history and paradoxes. "Kain may find the way to bring the Balance back but he will never free Nosgoth; the only way to do that is to release my brother of his... duties to Nosgoth."

"Are you saying to kill the Elder God?"

"Yes."

* * *

Kain stopped to rest in some ancient ruins. The architecture looked like that of the Sarafan, and Kain would not doubt if it was. When the Sarafan existed they had practically full control of Nosgoth; he would not have been surprised if there were settlements all around Nosgoth that belonged to the Sarafan. Just then the air shifted and an all too familiar voice rang in the air. "Kain…" The vampire lord reached for the Soul Reaver and instead of getting ready for a confrontation he stared at it with great intrigue. "Kain." The voice came again, this time more sure of itself, but as Kain had realized then, that the voice did not come from his sword but from somewhere in the ruins. Kain began scanning the area, looking for anything suspicious and in this case supernatural. The voice was so much like Raziel's but yet Raziel was dead. "Kain." The voice called to him again, this time from directly behind him.

Kain got up quickly and turned all in one motion and nearly had a heart attack (that is if he were in fact human and _had_ a heart). "Raziel? How can this be?" Kain could tell that it was Raziel; despite the slightly altered appearance but what bothered him the most was that Raziel was supposed to dead. Kain began to think that this was all a trick: someone's witchcraft or his mind playing games with him. Raziel had sacrificed himself to complete the Soul Reaver, to forever be Kain's sword; he could not be standing before him now.

"Kain," Raziel spoke softly and calmly knowing what stress he must be bringing his ex-master and lord. "I am here with a great force Kain. She is here to guide you, to help you bring back the Balance and free Nosgoth of this never-ending cycle of torment."

The vampire's eyes narrowed, suspecting the worse. "How could you even be alive Raziel—that is, if that really is you?"

"It is me Kain. In your hands you hold my soul, but I am the spirit, the entity that will forever be Raziel and everything he ever stood for."

Kain was getting extremely disconcerted at the whole situation. If he was in fact Raziel then why was he talking about himself like he was not? He would not have a chance to ask Raziel his questions for Serona appeared behind him and gently rested a hand on his arm. An alarmed Kain whizzed around, sword at the ready when he noticed Serona standing before him, unafraid. Raziel, out of old habits, rushed around Kain and stood before Serona, standing just off of her so that she could still hold a conversation with Kain. Though she was sure that Kain would not hurt her, she allowed the protection, she was after all in a human body with very much real human blood coursing through her veins. "Kain, vampire lord," she curtsied gently giving her respects to the vampire before continuing, "I am here to help you on your journey… I am the Goddess Serona."

Raziel glanced back at her, his stance of a strong and serious protector shattered within just seconds. She had gone back to using her old name? Was that purely for she did not trust Kain or had she truly taken on the name once again? "Goddess?" Kain scoffed out. "There is no such thing; there are no deities in this world."

"But there are. My brother and I are examples of this."

"Brother?"

Raziel took over from there and spoke to the vampire lord. "The parasite my soul had so kindly allowed you to see Kain. That is her brother."

"You mean the foul creature I had just battled?" Kain asked as he looked over to Serona. "They look hardly alike."

Serona ignored the comment and continued, stepping forward to stress the importance of her next words. "As I opened myself more to our intertwined destinies Kain, I realized that we have far more to do than just restore Nosgoth. I am my brother's undoing and he knows this as much as I do now. But first you must find Janos Audron and kill him."

"Azuel…" Raziel said in shook as he moved around to look into her eyes. "Not Janos. He is my friend."

"And you should have killed him when you had a chance Raziel." Serona said, a great sadness forming in her heart as she talked back to the light in her heart. "He was possessed by the Hylden, in them the spirit of their lord was inside Janos, and that poor vampire is suffering greatly. Right now at this exact moment Janos is trying and ailing at taking back his soul. Soon the Hylden will claim his soul as there's and then they will destroy his spirit and his body will belong to them with no hope that Janos will come back in another life. Kain must kill him and free Janos and the Soul Reaver must devour the souls of the Hylden." Serona looked at the sword, an aching forming along with the sadness in her heart as she knew that Raziel's soul was very much alive within the sword. "With those souls…" She began, speaking straight to the sword, "you will have the ability and strength to kill my brother."

Kain looked down at the sword as he felt it shiver with anticipation at the thought of killing the Elder God. Kain could feel Raziel's presence as the sword shivered and he knew that there was yet another paradox in Nosgoth, two Raziels: one as a sword and one as a spirit that stood beside this Goddess. "And Kain…" Serona continued, taking the vampire's attention off the sword and back onto her. "You will need to follow me. Only then will I be able to grant you the ability to survive the final battle with my brother. You should be fine with battling Janos; the Soul Reaver will make sure to that." She walked up to the sword and reached out to touch it but then pulled back her hand before her skin could make contact with the blade. "Do I have your allegiance to me Kain?"

The two's eyes locked onto the other and in the silence an allegiance was formed.

* * *

**Serona POV**

Kain had done well in his battle with Janos Audron as I knew he would. The Soul Reaver did the blunt of the work. Raziel's soul was no longer sympathetic towards Janos and thought of him as a friend; it was Raziel's spirit that had seeked that friendship with the Ancient Vampire. For now all the Soul Reaver wanted was the death of my brother and I say let him have it. Though with that same thought I did have to say to myself that though my brother's death would be for the better good, that I as his ever-so-loving sister did not want him to die. All these ages he has been the shadow over my existence and yet he was my only family. My life's tale was that of the fairytales humans tell their children, battles between family members and such over death, life, darkness and light. It still surprises me that parents would tell their children such grotesque stories but it was not up to me to decide the culture of beings.

No, it was up to me to free Nosgoth of the tyrannically rein of my brother and restore the Balance alongside Kain and take up my brother's place in the Wheel and much to my disdain I must first fully execute my destiny. I granted Kain temporary protection from my brother for their final confrontation, as well as a passage into the Spectral Realm so that he could track down my brother (for even _I_ did not know of his location). I looked towards Raziel, who all this time had been by my side, falling more and more in love with me whether it was intentional or not. I took his clawed hand in both of my hands and held it to my heart, loving the coolness his skin gives off to the heat of my body. "Azuel…" He whispered my other name. He had asked me before when we parted ways with Kain on why I gave the vampire my old name, I merely replied that though I am more Azuel than my original self, Azuel would never be able to handle the responsibilities that being a Goddess came with, especially not when I was so in love with Raziel. I had to separate my two halves; the one of divinity and the one of love.

Raziel understood this and had quickly noticed the differences between the two, calling my name in relation to who I was at that moment. "I love you Raziel." I told him and he brought his body up against mine, his free hand coming around to rest on the small of my back.

"And I love you Azuel." I smiled and was instantly glad that I had gotten over the whimsical feelings of happiness whenever he said those words.

"We must go." I said after a few seconds of standing in silence and in those words I became Serona. Raziel nodded and followed me as I went to the location where my brother and Kain fought. I am the demise of my brother, and I must be in the place where my brother would soon fall.

* * *

**Serona POV**

My heart raced as Raziel and I stood in the safety of a cave that now serves as a direct entrance into the Spectral Realm. In the midst of the battle my brother pushed the fight up to the Material Realm, creating a direct link to the two Realms through this cave, a very unwanted situation. What was worse was that where my brother had pushed the fight out to was just miles from the Pillars and faintly I knew that in my brother's anger that he was planning to destroy the pillars fully. With no more Hylden there was no need for the Pillars he thought, but what he did not know was that the Pillars did so much more than hold back a dark race, they symbolized the safety and protection of the races in Nosgoth, humans and vampires alike, and if those Pillars are destroyed the hope for a peaceful co-existence would be destroyed along with it.

I knew that no one would see my brother, only Kain, Raziel and I could see him, but the fight was disrupting the earth and the nature around it. I knew that if the fight was not ended or moved back into the Spectral Realm soon, that soon beings would be attracted to come to the source of the disruption, putting their lives in danger in the instant they decided to come and investigate. Kain was hit badly and flew into the cave. My brother was somehow winning this fight, even with my protection onto Kain and the Hylden souls in the Soul Reaver as well as that of Ariel's. It was not enough. And I was foolish to think that it was. My brother is a God despite the harsh words Raziel says about him; it will be impossible to kill him if it was even possible. If it was in fact possible then there would be only one way to kill a God…

I closed my eyes and felt a panging in my soul. Now I know what my destiny fully entitled me. I almost laughed at how ironic it was, how closely similar it was to Raziel's. In fact, it was practically the same. My love for him had not only brought us together but gave us the same destinies. I half laughed half sobbed as Kain stood and my brother laughed, throwing insults at the vampire as he began to make his way towards the cave once more. Raziel beside me held me in his arms, my sounds of crying and laughter attracting his attention immediately. "Azuel—what's wrong?"

"Nothing Raziel." I half laughed half sobbed again. I looked up at the mouth of the cave and my eyes glowed white with my power as I threw up a force field to protect us within the cave. My brother growled with anger as I once again assisted his enemies. As far as I was concerned I was his enemy as well and I knew for a fact that he was much stronger than I in the Material Realm and that my pathetic excuse of a shield will not hold him for long here. I took my hands and grasped the sides of Raziel's face before I pulled it down for a kiss. "Raziel… Wait for me in my retreat in the Spectral Realm; do not go anywhere else until I return."

"Azuel… What are you saying?" He asked me, my abnormal movements bringing him concern.

"I love you." I said, as one spirit to another, before I gave him one last kiss and ran up to Kain.

The vampire looked at me with a weird expression, a mixture of shock and confusion and even some anger that I was sure was directed towards my brother and not to me. I sighed and smiled faintly up at him before tears began to cloud my sight. I could hear Raziel coming up quickly behind me and without another thought I executed my destiny. I quickly rammed myself into the Soul Reaver and I heard Raziel's breath escape him as the sword pushed further into me before eventually coming straight through my back. Kain grunted tried to pull the sword out but my hands shot forward and held onto the blade tightly, leaving it in there. Upon that contact I could feel the soul of Raziel feel horrible about what had just happened, and faintly I realized that the soul, like it's spirit, had also fallen in love with me, but not the spirit as _my_ Raziel had, but with the soul. When I created my human body I had not built a soul to go along with it, but over the years a soul eventually formed and with it my destiny to sacrifice my soul to the Soul Reaver.

My tears came faster then as I stroked the length of the sword before me. "Reaver…Raziel…" I said to the sword, my soul speaking for me. "You are so beautiful…" I gasped, the pain of being impaled hitting me suddenly. "Raziel… I-I gave you false information. You cannot—you need _my_ soul—along with the Hyldens'—to defeat him—my brother…" The sword protested at the notion and my hands gripped the blade tighter, blood being drawn from my hands. "Take it Raziel! If-If you do—I'll be with you! Two souls—yours and mine—together—forever." The sword shivered faintly with both sadness and understanding. "Take it—take me—and free Nosgoth." The Soul Reaver needed no other words. My soul was devoured by the sword and along with it the body I had worked so hard to create for Raziel. As my human form died I heard my Raziel scream in protest before it faded away and my spirit was freed.

* * *

Serona's spirit retreated down the entrance of the cave and into the Spectral Realm where she would survive. Raziel moved to leave and yet he could not abandon Kain, not yet, not as he was about to go back to fight Eder. The shield went down at the mouth of the cave as Serona's spirit left the Material Realm and Kain held up the glowing golden light Soul Reaver, it quaking with new found power and anger, anger directed towards its enemy, but now more than ever. If it was not for Eder, Serona would have never had to sacrifice her soul so that the Soul Reaver could defeat him. The sword began to lead Kain out of the cave, Kain stumbling at first but then working alongside the sword. Kain found now that as he sliced the parasite before him that the tentacles did not grow back, once they were cut they would never grow back.

Eder growled with fear and anger. He realized that he was going to die and in an attempt to not parish he tried to retreat back to the Spectral Realm but there was no escape. Kain fought valiantly and with bravado, the sword finally releasing all its anger and getting its revenge. Within moment Kain had climbed his way up to Eder's main eye, the source of his life and power and the sword knew this but its wielder did not. Kain soon felt the blade loosen from his grip and fly out into the God's eye. Eder screeched in pain and Kain abandoned the sword if only momentarily to get to safe ground back inside the cave with Raziel. As the sword remained in his eye the God's body started to deteriorate away. After several earth thundering, painfully excruciating minutes, Eder fell onto the earth, his tentacles curling up close to his body before he completely disappeared forever, leaving in his place the sword laying on the ground, the glowing subsiding along with the shaking.

Kain and Raziel walked to the sword, Raziel keeping his distance for his other form as a precaution. Kain picked up the sword and the vampire could feel its bliss as it harbored the soul of its loved one close to the soul of Raziel, the love calming the sword down substantially. The two looked at each other and without another word Kain placed the sword on his back before moving to the Pillars where he could finally begin to rebuild them and what they stood for. Raziel turned back into the cave and went into Serona's retreat where he began to wait for the spirit he had fallen in love with.

* * *

Serona's spirit eventually returned to her retreat where she once again began to build another body. She kept it similar to her human form but this time added vampiric characteristics, two, five-fingered clawed hands, long pointed ears, fangs, and vampiric pupils. She kept everything else about her appearance short of changing her hair color to white to give off more of a divine appearance, giving herself longer hair and paler skin. Kain at this time was having difficulty gaining public support seeing as he was to blame for the Pillars original destruction. Raziel played as the messenger between both Kain and Serona and the three together created a spectacle that would convince the humans and vampires that it was in fact Kain who is supposed to fix the Balance.

Kain had gathered the two species together at the Pillars with much difficulty, keeping the two races separate to keep from any un-needed deaths. As he stood before the Pillars he gave a speech, explaining that he along with a divine creature were meant to restore the Balance to Nosgoth and rebuild the shattered lands. Both the humans and vampires were getting restless, what with their respective predators and prey not feet from each other.

A bright white light shone behind Kain and from the Spectral Realm both Serona and Raziel appeared from the light. Gasps were heard and to the eyes of the crowds below, Serona was indeed some sort of divine creature and that Raziel was her protector, her consort of sorts, and that Kain may have not been lying. The Goddess spoke loudly and clearly, using her powers to captivate both humans and vampires. This was her first step in creating the perfect Nosgoth where both humans and vampires could live together as one.

As the beings' faith below increased Serona became more powerful and what with the full devotion from Raziel, she was able to continue on to step two of her plan where she turned back around and with her power of Change she was able to restore the Pillars, all of them, to their original splendor.

A wave of beings began to bow to her, accepting her instantly as their Goddess. Kain and Raziel stood to either side of the Goddess Serona, one as her messenger and one as her consort. Faintly she could hear her brother's words saying that she would never truly become a Goddess. She mentally scorned him and smiled as she had done what her brother said that she could never achieve. She felt liberated. Finally she had a life, she could be the Hub of the Wheel but she would be the Hub far differently than what her brother had done. She will do what a God should do, watch and protect over his children and punish the ones that go against his teachings. But Serona kept her power limited to only those that believed in her and gave her their faith. She knew that not everyone would follow her and she was perfectly fine with that fact. As long as there was peace and health in her land of Nosgoth, she would be more than happy to allow being their own form of free will, in whatever shape and form it comes in.

And as long as she retained Azuel: her love to Raziel, she belonging to him and only him; she would be ecstatic. And in her Spectral Realm, in her special retreat, in the arms of the love of her immortal existence; she would hear the sounds that form that name from a voice that she would never tire of. She would exist in bliss and even if one day she is forgotten and the beings of the Material Realm no longer look to a deity, she would still have him, her Raziel, her only true happiness.

"Azuel…"


End file.
